Lesson 1: Assertiveness and Refusal Skills Phunziro 1: Kudzidalira ndi Maluso Okana
Duration: 32 minutes
In Form 2 you are at an age when friends, older relatives and strangers will begin to put pressure on you to do things you may not want to do. Assertiveness is the skill of standing up for yourself in a calm, respectful way. It is not rudeness, and it is not aggression. A person who is assertive can say what they think, feel and want without attacking others and without running away.
Assertiveness Versus Aggression and Passiveness
There are three main ways people respond when their rights or wishes are challenged. A passive person keeps quiet, gives in, and lets others decide for them. An aggressive person shouts, insults, threatens or uses force. An assertive person speaks clearly, uses "I" statements, keeps calm and respects the other person. For example, if an older boy tells a Form 2 girl at Mzimba Secondary to carry his bag home, a passive response is to say nothing and do it, an aggressive response is to shout and insult him, and an assertive response is, "No, I am going home a different way. Please ask someone else."
Why Assertiveness Matters for Teenagers
Teenagers in Malawi face many pressures: to drink kachasu, smoke chamba, skip school, join gangs, or engage in sex before they are ready. Assertiveness protects you from making decisions that harm your health, your education and your future. It also strengthens self-esteem because each time you speak up for what is right, you remind yourself that your views matter.
Refusal Skills
Refusal skills are the specific words and actions you use to say no. Five useful techniques are: firstly, the clear "no" — look the person in the eye, keep your voice steady, and say "No, I do not want to." Secondly, give a reason — "No, I have to revise for my exam." Thirdly, suggest an alternative — "No, let us go and play football instead." Fourthly, walk away if pressure continues. Fifthly, find an ally — a trusted friend, teacher or guardian who can support you. Practise these in front of a mirror or with a classmate so that the words come easily when the real moment arrives.
Handling Pressure from Adults and Peers
Sometimes the pressure comes from adults — a relative, a neighbour or even a teacher who is behaving wrongly. You can still be assertive while being respectful: "Uncle, I do not feel comfortable with that. I am going to tell my mother." Report any adult who threatens or touches you inappropriately to a trusted adult, to the head teacher, or to the Victim Support Unit at the nearest police station.
Body Language
Words are only half of assertiveness. Your body must say the same thing. Stand up straight, keep your shoulders back, make eye contact, and use a firm but calm voice. If you mumble and look at the ground, people will not take your "no" seriously.
Nthawi: Mphindi 32
Mu Fomu 2 muli pa msinkhu womwe anzanu, achibale akuluakulu ndi anthu osadziwika adzayamba kukukakamizani kuchita zinthu zimene simungafune. Kudzidalira ndi luso lodziteteza nokha mwamtendere ndi molemekeza. Sikuchita mwankhanza, ndipo si ukali. Munthu wodzidalira amatha kunena zomwe akuganiza, akumva ndi kufuna popanda kuukira ena komanso popanda kuthawa.
Kudzidalira, Ukali ndi Kugonja
Pali njira zikuluzikulu zitatu zomwe anthu amatengera ufulu wawo ukawukiridwa. Munthu wogonja amangokhala chete, amalola zomwe ena akufuna, ndipo amasiya ena kumuganizira. Munthu waukali amafuula, amatukwana, amaopseza kapena kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu. Munthu wodzidalira amayankhula momveka, amagwiritsa ntchito mawu a "Ine," amakhala mwamtendere ndipo amalemekeza mnzake. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnyamata wamkulu auza msungwana wa Fomu 2 ku Mzimba Secondary kuti amunyamulire thumba kupita kwawo, yankho logonja ndi kungokhala chete nkuchita, yankho lankhanza ndi kufuula ndi kumutukwana, ndipo yankho lodzidalira ndi "Ayi, ndikupita kwanga panjira ina. Chonde funsani wina."
Chifukwa Chomwe Kudzidalira Ndi Kofunika kwa Achinyamata
Achinyamata mu Malawi akukumana ndi zokakamiza zambiri: kumwa kachasu, kusuta chamba, kuthawa sukulu, kulowa m'magulu oyipa, kapena kuyamba kugonana msanga. Kudzidalira kumakutetezani ku zisankho zomwe zingawononge umoyo wanu, maphunziro anu ndi tsogolo lanu. Kumalimbitsanso kudzikonda chifukwa nthawi iliyonse pamene mwanena choonadi, mukudzikumbutsa kuti maganizo anu ndi ofunika.
Maluso Okana
Maluso okana ndi mawu ndi zochita zomwe mumagwiritsa ntchito ponena kuti ayi. Njira zisanu zothandiza ndi izi: choyamba, "ayi" wodziwika bwino — muyang'ane m'maso mnzanu, mulankhule mosasunthasuntha, ndipo munene "Ayi, sindikufuna." Chachiwiri, perekani chifukwa — "Ayi, ndiyenera kukonzekera mayeso." Chachitatu, perekani njira ina — "Ayi, tiyeni tikasewere mpira m'malo mwake." Chachinayi, chokani ngati akupitiriza kukukakamizani. Chachisanu, pezani wothandiza — bwenzi lodalirika, mphunzitsi kapena mlezi wanu. Phunzirani izi pagalasi kapena ndi mnzanu m'kalasi kuti mawu akuyendereni mosavuta nthawi yeniyeni ikafika.
Kuthana ndi Kukakamizidwa kwa Akuluakulu ndi Anzanu
Nthawi zina kukakamiza kumachokera kwa akulu — mbale, mnansi kapena ngakhale mphunzitsi amene akuchita zoyipa. Mutha kukhalabe wodzidalira pomwe mukulemekeza: "Amalume, sindikumva bwino ndi zimenezo. Ndipita kukauza amayi anga." Nenani kwa munthu wamkulu wodalirika, kwa mphunzitsi wamkulu, kapena ku Victim Support Unit pa polisi ya pafupi, za munthu wamkulu amene akukuopsezani kapena akukugwirani m'njira yosayenera.
Kayendetsedwe ka Thupi
Mawu ndi gawo limodzi chabe la kudzidalira. Thupi lanu liyenera kunena chimodzimodzi. Imirirani bwino, muyang'ane m'maso, ndipo mugwiritse ntchito mawu amphamvu koma amtendere. Ngati mumangong'ung'udza ndi kuyang'ana pansi, anthu sadzalemekeza "ayi" wanu.
Exercise RequiredMasewera Ofunikira
You must pass this exercise to complete the lesson. Questions are randomly selected each attempt. Muyenera kupambana masewera awa kuti mumaliza phunziro. Mafunso amasankhidwa mwachisawawa nthawi iliyonse.